That's Amore

A Momdrum survey on me and my man in honour of Valentine's Day


BASICS

Who is your man? Prince Charming
How long have you been together? It's been 7 years and 3 months since we met, 7 years and a couple weeks since we started dating, and 6 years this Sunday since our wedding.
Dating/Engaged/Married? Married - February 14/2004
How old is your man? He is turning 29 at the end of this month!

YOU OR YOUR MAN?

Who eats more? Generally him...unless we are snacking. I do a lot more snacking.
Who said "I love you" first? He did although I wanted to and was just waiting for him to...and when he finally said it he kinda just snuck it in all casual too. I wrote it awhile before that on a foggy windshield though.
Who weighs more? He does. But only by about 20 pounds
Who sings better? He does
Who's Older? He is by almost 4 years
Who's smarter?depends in what. He is a lot better in math and those logistical, statistical type things but I beat him by far in anything literary and most things that require emotional/psychological thinking.
Who's temper is worse? His. I get mad more often probably but mine is quick and generally doesn't show much.
Who does the laundry? Me. Every now and then he throws in a load if I ask.
Who does the dishes? Nobody. We have a dishwasher but IF we do wash them by hand he is more likely to do it.
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? This question is tricky to me. Does this mean when you look at it or when you lay in it? When you lay in it I'm on the right side.
Who's feet are bigger? His
Who's hair is longer? Mine
Who's better with the computer? Definitely him
Who mows the lawn? He does. I would but a)not possible with the kids around and b)I'm allergic to grass.
Who pays the bills? He does
Who cooks dinner? Me. Unless I'm sick or busy with the baby then occasionally he'll do it if I tell him what to make and EXACTLY how to make it.
Who makes more money? He does by a LONG shot.
Who drives when you are together? He does.
Who pays when you go out to dinner? Well we share bank accounts but he usually does the actual paying.
Who's the most stubborn? We're both stubborn in different ways but definitely him.
Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong? Probably me.
Who's parents do you see more? Mine
Who named your dog? We don't have a dog but if we did I'd probably pick the name. He'd have to agree on it but I'd pick it. That's how it worked with the kids anyway.
Who kissed who first? He kissed me
Who asked who out? He asked me out
Who's more sensitive? Me by FAR. But for a guy he is actually really sensitive.
Who's taller? He is by 1/4 inch.
Who has more friends? weird question. I have more people I hang out with on my own but most of the people we spend time with are both our friends.
Who has more siblings? He has one more than me.

Secret Stash

I thought it was time to share a sweet little Prince Charming story. It's been awhile, and really he deserves a lot more publicity because he really IS Prince Charming.

As many of you know, pregnancy does not agree with me. I am nauseous, exhausted, and acne prone. Basically making babies is for my body what plastic surgery was for Goldie Hawn...not pretty. Anyway, a unique occurrence in this pregnancy is precise and practically crazy cravings. Sure I had a few with Little Lady...but nothing like the night and day craziness accompanying Baby Number 2.

Now we live in a very small town...the kind that almost literally rolls up the sidewalks at six o'clock. Stores open 'til 8 are a rarity as well as a real headline. In other words, a commonly exciting conversation in this small town might include the line "Hey did you hear Fine Foods will be open 'til 8 over the summer!?" Needless to say it is next to impossible to satisfy cravings when there is nothing open within a two hour radius.

Unless you are married to Prince Charming. Three times in the last week when I have complained of cravings after eight he has slyly stated, "I'll run up town right now"...disappeared into the garage...and came back with his hands full of my current favourite food. How he does it I do not know since he refuses to let me in on his means. All I know is that somewhere in my garage my amazingly perceptive husband has a secret stash of commonly craved items just waiting for the whims of his wife.

I am one blessed baby making mommy!

A toast

Hands that hold tenderness and a tough will. Strong arms that shelter, snuggle, and secure. A warm, firm chest that provides a refuge and holds a heart that beats with bravery and unequaled passions. A heart as pure as gold; full of care, concern, and compassion. From this chest is formed a ringing, joyful laugh. Laughter that brings life and lifts even the most sorrowful spirits. Humour has it's human form. In the face there are strong lines, a jaw that speaks of justice, brows that bare the mark of a man with bold thoughts. To see this face is to feel safe, to be in it's presence is to believe in angels. Beautiful eyes that bare a window into an incredible soul. Eyes that sparkle with mischief, glow with love, and dance with laughter. A mouth that tastes tantalizing and moves with precision. When it speaks you become aware of his wisdom and the amazing wonders of his mind.

Who is this man? Who is he that can make time stand still? Who is he that can be both the famine and the feast? Stubborn and yet soft? Tender and yet tough?

He is my breath, my laugh, my love. He is my life. He awakens my soul, arouses my senses. He is my other half, my happiness....my Husband.

Happy birthday to the one into who's arms I fall, with whose body I fit, and who's hand I hold.

I love you.

Serendipity

We're back from our wonderful extended anniversary weekend. I wish vacations never ended but sadly they do. It was incredible to get away for our anniversary. No cooking, cleaning, or crazy daily duties. Just room service, incredible restaurants, exciting ski slopes, sweet little shops, and laid back afternoon swims. If only it were possible to retire in your twenties.

Among the several fabulous presents my husband picked out for me for our anniversary, one of them was the movie Serendipity. If you have not watched this movie I whole-heartily recommend it. This movie is in my top three favourite movies of all time. Partially...or perhaps mostly because it has a flavour to it that matches our own romantic meeting. However, this movie was a favourite of mine before my husband and I had even met.

Serendipity is described as "A fortunate accident". We had our serendipitous meeting in the snow (where it happens for the couple in the movie as well) when I had an extra ticket for a football game and randomly called out in the college lounge that anyone was welcome to take it. My Prince Charming ...at that time pretty much a complete stranger to me...jumped at the chance and by the time the game was won...so was I. Later as we walked through a park and across a skating rink (just like in the movie), the snow swirled gently around us as we got to know each other. Calling out questions to each other like "Favourite movie of all time".

I don't exactly believe in fate...but I do believe that at least many things do happen for a specific reason. I believe that sometimes two souls really are right for each other. That sometimes life is a mess and it's miserable...but sometimes we have sweet and inexplicable moments of Serendipity. Perhaps ones that will change our lives forever.

I challenge you to remember these moments with your mate. How did you come together? Was there certain events that perhaps changed the course of your lives and love?

Cowboy take me away

I once read that in order to grow your marraige relationship you should have three kinds of dates on a regular basis.

1) Daily Dates. A time each day when you take a break from the baby, the barking dog, and baking for your church fundraiser and just catch up on each other as a couple. It could be over a quick cup of coffee in the morning, during dessert at dinner, or cuddling on the couch once the kids are in bed. Even just five minutes of focused "Hey, I care about your day" time can take your relationship to a deeper level.

2) Weekly dates. This date needs to be at least an hour long and perferably will take place outside of the home. You should be kid free, distraction free, and most of the time should be able to have a discussion. In other words, just going out to a weekly movie isn't enough. Although watching a movie together is great once in awhile your dates need to consist of opportunities to make conversation or to see another side of each other by doing something different.

and finally 3) Monthly/annual dates. This is the big date. The one you plan and prepare for in advance and maybe even make an annual thing. It's a chance to be child free for at least one morning which means sleeping in and maybe even a little more. ;o) Prince Charming and I have one annual date like this which we take for one weekend every year on our half anniversary. It's something I look forward to all year.

Tonight we leave on one of those big get-away type dates to celebrate our anniversary. This time around we're taking our Little Lady with us but we will have one evening without her while we're away. Can't wait to escape!

Happy Valentine's day! Enjoy your celebrating!

More than words....

Some of the most important marriage counselling in-put we recieved before our wedding was to learn each other's love languages. Over the years this has been a real eye opener as we realize that we both speak and feel love in different ways. One of my love languages is through cards, writing love rather than speaking it. This one has been hard for my husband as he doesn't usually think along those lines when thinking about expressing love. However, for the last two mornings I have awakened to a beautiful note at the breakfast table.

Here's what I found this morning:

"I wanted to say I love you...."You are always new. The last of your kisses was ever the sweetest; the last smile the brightest; the last movement the most gracefull."....Have a great day!"


I feel like I'm flying

Today's tip: Learn how to express your love in the way your spouse will most easily understand and then shower them with love in this way. Trust me...you won't be dissapointed!

On the silly side of the street

Sometimes the quickest cure for a marital slump is simply letting loose and being silly. I have been blessed with a husband who has an amazing sense of humour and who loves to make me laugh. Of course, his humour does not always come at the most appropriate times and therefore does not always increase affection. But there are moments...

An example of expressing your silly side happened last night. After a fabulous evening out at a Valentine's banquet we came home exhausted but happy. The aura of love was in the air and we felt content with life. Falling on the couch for a cuddle we began doing our devotions. As I've mentioned previously we recently started reading "Songs in the Key of Solomon", a very serious yet sexy new way to do couple devotions. Each devotional begins with setting the scene....you get in the mood for that days devotional by placing yourself in a situation suited to that days theme. For example, you may take a bubble bath, share one cup of coffee, etc. One day we had a contest to find the most crazy thing for sale in the classifieds when that days devotional was about buying love. Anyway, yesterdays devotional was about giving gifts. I won't go into details but the setting...and the fact that it was late...had us laughing like little kids. By the time we were done devotions our giggling had turned into all out truth or dare....adult style. It's fun to have fun. :o)

My challenge to you today is to do something silly with your spouse. Make it random and real and just let yourself go. The silliest moments usually come from dropping your duties and doing something completely on a whim without worrying about the way it makes you look.

"Life can be so sweet...on the silly side of the street"

Where the heart is

Yesterday afternoon my husband and I returned to the town where we met. It is only a two hour drive and on occasion we still have reason to return in order to visit old friends or attend an appointment. Yesterday we did both. It was an ordinary day filled with ordinary errands. We bundled up against the blasted cold, scoured the shops for savings, and buckled and un-buckled our thankfully cheerful baby about a billion times. There was nothing particularily romantic about the way we raced from shop to shop, errand to errand. The four hours in the car did not include much in the way of incredible conversation. We simply held hands, listened to music, and soaked up each other's presence. There was nothing unusual in the way we spent our day. However, we returned home feeling like a couple of college kids falling hard and fast for each other. All the excitement and electricity that comes with the beginning of relationship became real and renewed for one fabulous evening.

What made an ordinary day turn into an extraordinary evening? I think it had to do with dinner. Before leaving the city where we fell in love we decided to stop for a quick supper at a small restaurant. It was one we had eaten at often while we dated, as it is only a short distance from the college campus. There is nothing even remotely romantic about this restaurant. It isn't fancy and the food is standard fare. But the moment we walked in it was as if I had been whisked back in time. Sitting only a few booths away from us, towards the back of the restaurant, was a young couple. They were leaning across the table towards each other as if they couldn't get close enough. I couldn't hear their conversation but you could tell it wasn't specifically deep....and yet they both seemed completely compelled by it. It was obvious they were dating and soaking up every second of this simple dinner together. Suddenly I could see every supper we had spent in exactly the same way. I saw the booth where we sat the first time we went out together and I could almost see us sitting there. Conversations came back to me. Inside jokes over silly things. I remembered what we ate, what we drank, the way we looked...all lit up by the first blush of falling in love.

Seeing that couple transported me back to another time. A time before feeding a baby and entertaining a toddler took up all your energy while eating out. When there was never a shortage of things to say and even when there was....you looked nowhere else except each other's eyes. And this time, rather than missing those moments and mourning their loss....I felt every one of them all over again. I allowed the remembered moments to become real and for an evening we returned to the way we were. The way we still can be. Two kids finding out what it's like to fall in love.

For my first installment in the month of February I want to challenge you all to return to the place where your first fell in love. Let your heart remember...and allow it to take the lead.

Keeper of The Stars

Three years and six months ago today I married the man of my dreams. This past weekend we went away in order to reflect, re-cap, and refocus our relationship. We made goals for the future of our marriage while snuggling and sharing a few precious moments of uninterrupted silence and sweetness with only us two. I am reminded again of the magic and the miracle of meeting this man, this Prince Charming. All my fairytale dreams walked into my world one night as if a storybook had come to life.

The moon sparkled off the freshly fallen snow and stars shone like beacons of hope across a velvet night sky. I was sitting there, wondering if I was wrong to fall for this man, starring at a string of stars...Orions Belt. The first constellation my mother had taught me to find. No matter how far my parents travels took me from the places I called home....these three stars were my beacon of safety. Moving frequently had made me afraid of forging close relationships and left me feeling lonely with a constant anxiety of being alone. These stars were where I went to breath...to feel safe, secure, and settled. As I stood there starring at the inky night sky a gentle voice startled me.

"What are you looking at?" It's him. Instantly I feel myself pulled toward this Prince who I am resisting.

"The stars" I say with a small smile.

"You see that constellation there?" He asks. And I follow his finger to the very place I had been focused on only a moment earlier...Orion's Belt. "It's strange....I have that constellation on my neck." He pulls aside his sweater to reveal three perfect birth marks along his collar bone.

And I know I've found my way home.

This one's for you baby:

It was no accident,

me finding you.

Someone had a hand in it,

Long before we ever knew.

Now I just can't believe you're in my life

Heaven's smilin' down on me, As I look at you tonight.

I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars

He sure knew what he was doin' When he joined these two hearts

I hold everything, When I hold you in my arms

I've got all I'll ever need....Thanks to the keeper of the stars.

Soft moonlight on your face, oh how you shine.

It takes my breath away, Just to look into your eyes

I know I don't deserve a treasure like you

There really are no words...To show my gratitude

So I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars

He sure knew what he was doin', When he joined these two hearts

I hold everything... When I hold you in my arms

I've got all I'll ever need....Thanks to the keeper of the stars

It was no accident me finding you

Someone had a hand in it. Long before we ever knew.

My marathon running man

Inspired. That's what I am. Two years ago my mother ran her first half marathon at age 48. 13 miles for the first time in her life at an age where most woman are resigning themselves to the thought of retirement, relaxing, and unfortunately ageing. Fast forward two years, and not only her, but my handsome husband and fifty year old father ran as well! If I wasn't still making milk for my baby I would have run as well but unfortunately my body just can't keep up with being a milk bar AND a fabulously fit mom. However, I am now inspired to run next year. I don't know how I'll manage to train but come on...I'm fine with my fit husband beating me in the in-shape department but my parents? Now that's a problem.

Here are some pictures and highlights of our wonderful weekend:

This picture is a little hard to see but it's a mommy monkey nursing her baby! Totally made my day!

Sorry for some reason I couldn't figure out how to turn this! It's Little Lady and her daddy on her first day at the zoo!

Out for Father's Day dinner at Pasta La Vista

On the way to cheer on her daddy. Little Lady's first bus ride!

Me and my husband at the finish line! Prince Charming ran 13.3 miles in 1 hour 58 minutes! Making him 1173 out of almost 4 thousand runners!

Our family at the finish line of the Manitoba Marathon!

Father's Day fun after at the hotel

Our family at our Father's day brunch at The Hotel Fort Gary (Also where we had our wedding reception)
For more pictures than I can put on this post (including ones of my parents) click here.

Here are some moments I WISH I could have caught on camera:

1) Saturday night Prince Charming was about to give Little Lady a bath when he took off her diaper and discovered it was REALLY dirty! He was already in the bathroom and the wipes were in the bedroom so he was without them. He had also taken off her diaper while she was standing...and she stepped in it then walked all around the sink before he could stop her! Hilarious!

2) On the bus ride back to the hotel after the marathon Little Lady was absolutely exhausted. Prince Charming was holding her and she snuggled up on his arm and fell asleep. It was super sweet!

3) After supper on Sunday Prince Charming was showing Little Lady how to stick out her tongue by playing peek a boo with his. Everytime he would stick it out she would try and catch it before he sucked it back in. She would giggle like crazy and try grabbing at his lips to get it ou! After awhile she realized her hands were just to slow so she lunged at him with her mouth!

Well that was our weekend! A belated happy Father's day to all the fabulous fathers out there but especially to my husband Ernest! You are my inspiration!

"Men are so FOCUSED!"

Okay three blogs in one day, I know, a little crazy. It seems though that this day has so many emotions and this is as good a place as any to get them out. Actually that could be a whole 'nother topic...but we won't go there today!

We are leaving for the weekend tomorrow. It's only for two days and one night but we have to be ready to hit the road early and this means MAJOR organization. In the pre-kid days we would simply throw a bunch of stuff in a suitcase and take off. Now however it's like orchestrating a major mountaineering exhibition. Sunscreen? check. Stroller? check. Baby shoes? check. Stress? CHECK!

Somehow I always seem to be the one stuck with this task. My husband (wonderful as he is) just doesn't seem to grasp the need to be organized in order to get somewhere on time. I suppose it's BECAUSE I always do it. He hasn't had the experience of being halfway through a diaper change and realizing he has no wipes. Neither has he ever had to think about what the baby all needs in over to stay somewhere over night. So I guess I can't blame him but man does it get on my nerves.

Sometime ago my husband was looking for something in the fridge. I told him he could find it on the top shelf. He said he didn't see it. I told him I was certain it was there. He starred at the refrigerator for several more minutes, eyes searching the shelf. "Nope. It's not there." Remembering seeing it only hours before I went to the fridge and looked inside. Sure enough...right in front of his face! It was simply slightly behind something and he was so intent on that certain item he didn't see what he was looking for! I gave an exasperated sigh. "Men are so FOCUSED!"

Since then I have noticed this behavior in many men. They become so wrapped up in one thing there's no room for anything else. This is why they forget obvious dates, can't find things in front of their face, and don't see the need for details that are necessary. They are point A to Point B people. While this can actually at times be an incredible trait it can also be incredibly annoying! Sure it means when they want something they go after it full force. It means that when they set their mind to something it can be accomplished quickly and accurately. Being single minded certainly has advantages, especially in the corporate world I think. But in a household it can lead to some serious domestic disputes! For instance, on occasion I have had to remind Prince Charming multiple times about appointments and it still slips his mind. He'll make other plans then tell me he's somewhere. When I remind him he's already got previous plans he's upset because he doesn't remember me reminding him!!! UGH!

This also carries over into travel. He is simply so set on getting there he doesn't realize the effort it takes to actually travel. BUT, as frustrated as I may find myself in these situations there's really nothing we can do. As the old saying goes...Boys will be boys....

D.I.L.K's

I do not generally allow myself the opporunity to listen to Cosmo radio. Neither do I normally find it stimulating or even somewhat entertaining. However, yesterday I spent five hours driving alone with a nine month old and after even an hour of silly songs like "I lost the tooth I lost" or "Mamma won't you tickle my ticklish toes" your sanity begins to slip away. So I began searching the stations for something more mature. Having previously been a DJ they do capture my attention more than they would otherwise. I wouldn't normally waste my time on Cosmo as I find it rather sleezy but that particular DJ sounded interesting. As I was listening she began to talk about DILK's. My initial reaction? "I have a baby in the car! What kind of erotic stuff are you exposing her to!??"
Thankfully my mother guilt was relieved a moment later when the DJ explained DILKs stands for "Dad I'd Like To Kiss." Yesterday they were voting between Brad Pitt and Mark Walberg. Personally I'd pick Mr. Pitt out of the two but it got me thinking about the dad I REALLY want to be kissing. So in honour of Father's Day this post is dedicated to the very handsome DILK in my life and a few of the reasons why he warrants that title.
1) When I was pregnant he bought me the best ice creams and even morning sickness lollipops even though they really weren't in the budget. Once he even searched the city for over an hour for an open ice cream parlour because that is what I craved! (I felt like the girl in the old DQ commercials!)
2) How many dads do you know who go dress shopping for their wives? And not only that but actually have designer taste and do it as a surprise? (You should have seen those store clerks swoon over him the next time we went in together!) Even though I constantly worried about weight gain he thought I looked gorgeous pregnant.
3) He held my hair back and didn't even complain once about my constant morning (and afternoon and evening) sickness. He also rented me old movies, made me put my feet up, and didn't complain when meals weren't cooked or the house wasn't clean. All he cared about was me and the baby making it full term.
4) Even though he would rather watch hockey he usually watches my shows with me. When we rent a movie for an evening in, I usually get to pick because he knows I'm a big baby and get nightmares from the movies he would rather watch. This let's me know he'll be alright with taking our kids to cartoon movies for the next ten years.
5) When we watched the birthing video in prenatal he turned to me and said very seriously "I'm so sorry!"
6) Right after my daughter was born, dried off, and wrapped up he put a little gift box on her chest and brought her over. Inside the box was a beautiful silver necklace on a delicate chain. There is three interlocking circles, a large one for him, a medium one for me, and a small diamond one in the middle to represent our daughter.
7) He makes his girls giggle. For Little Lady all it takes is a shoulder ride or a silly dance, for me it's the way he bursts into song or comes up with strange lines out of the blue.
8) He had me hire a cleaner for a few weeks after Little Lady's birth and while I was on bed rest during pregnancy because he knew I couldn't handle a mess and he wanted me focused on her health and mine.
9) For my first mothers day he found me a piece for my antique china set called "First Love". Almost impossible to find.
10) As soon as he's home from work all he wants to do is hold Little Lady. He hangs her upside down, tickles her tummy, and plays hide and seak. He'll rock her and sing to her and cover her in kisses. No little girl has been more loved and I feel secure in this fact knowing that she'll grow up to be a more confident woman because of it.

He is sexy, sweet, and sentimental. Who wouldn't want to make out with a man like that? I'm calling Cosmo and telling them they are asking about the wrong DILK. Move over Brad you don't stand a chance, Prince Charming has my vote!

An ode to my handsome husband...

Before I met my husband I had given up in the "fairy tale" romance. Always a romantic I felt those dreams had been dashed and Prince Charming didn't really exist. I was wrong. He does, and he's now my husband.

From the moment he swept me off my feet at a football game, to asking me out by having a play written for me, to proposing with a poem and making it snow in the middle of July...he was and is my dream guy. However, when we had our daughter some of those "romantic" things got set aside as we got caught up in the day to day of being a family of three and realizing we are no longer exactly newlyweds.

Yesterday though he reminded me again that a marriage can still be amazing even after kids. Although not traditionally romantic, the things he has done for me in the past two days have blown me away and made me fall in love all over again.

Last week, as I mentioned, my daughter had the flu and it was pretty miserable. I spent an entire week cooped up at home being covered in puke and poop and feeling stressed and a little alone. Prince Charming had a busy week at work and so on top of working late and going golfing with the guys he didn't have a lot of energy to help out when he was home. But yesterday I got the flu and my knight in shining armour saved the day. We were away for the weekend and he took care of all the paking up. Then when we got hoome he sent me to lay down and cleaned up all our stuff from the weekend which I usually do. On top of that he took care of Little Lady, bathed her, changed her, and got her ready for bed. Generally I do those things or we at least do them together. After I had nursed her I went to put her in her crib but for some reason she wasn't tired and wanted to be picked up.

This is where he really melted my heart.

He knew that 1) I was to tired and sick to stay up with her 2) I because I was tired and sick listening to her cry would stress me out. He comes from the school of thought that if she cries we should just let her cry it out but I have a hard time with that even on a good day. When I am sick and emotional it's even worse. So you know what he did?

He stood by her crib for half an hour holding her hand and soothing her til she got sleepy and fell asleep! We have a video monitor so I could watch the whole thing from bed and it was heart stopping. He would say "It's okay, Daddy's here." and she would smile up at him and squeze his hand! Then he would rub her tummy and help her hold her dolly. She didn't cry once. It was incredible. I can't even put it into words. It completely sent me head over heels for him!

Not only that but when I woke up puking in the night he was there to rub my back and even take out the trash. Then this morning, despite the fact that he would be busy at work, he stayed hom an extra couple hours to make sure I got enough sleep before having to take care of Little Lady again.

Now it may not be romantic by a single persons standards, but I have never felt more romanced or loved in my life. So thank you baby! You truly are my knight in shining armour!