Thursday, May 20, 2010

To Circumscise or Not to Circumscise...apparently that is the question

I did not mean for this to become a debate on medical issues but apparently it has and so I wanted to clarify a few things.

First of all, Thank you Tara for your kind comment and insight. Yes those comments from people who have no idea what they are talking about DO bother me. I think it is incredibly rude for you, the random reader who knows nothing about me except a few words on a page, to make assumptions and judgmental statements. I am most frustrated by the comments of those who try to dispense medical advice when they are a)not medical professionals as far as I can tell b) have no idea about my families medical history c) are female and therefore don't even have personal experience! and d) are, as far as I can tell, not mothers so they don't even have any clue what it is like to be a parent or have had a similar experience with their child. If you fall under any of those categories and still want to leave your two cents...don't bother. From now on I'll be deleting all those types of comments. And if that bothers you then find another blog to read. This ones not for you.

If however you are a friend, even a friend I haven't met, and just want to KINDLY share our support you are more than welcome to. You are also welcome to leave comments about personal experiences. I'm not against hearing other peoples stories, and maybe even learning from them, but I AM against other people assuming that their stories automatically apply to me or my family. Just because something was the right decision for you or a family member does not necessarily mean it is right for us or my son. Please do not imply that it is.

Now that that's off my chest, here are a few things to clarify.
1. If nothing appears on Lancelots test they will consider doing a circumcision to stop the SYMPTOMS of a UTI. If nothing shows up on the tests then they are fairly sure that it is not UTI's he's been having but rather localized infections due to the nature of his anatomy. Because of the nature of his anatomy they have never been able to get a truly sterile urine sample from him which means that the infection may not be coming from inside but rather outside. So in answer to all those comments about circumcision not stopping a UTI...yes I am aware of that. Obviously. Please do not assume I am an idiot and that you know more than an entire team of medical professionals.
2. I am aware of the risks of surgery both for ear tubes and circumcision. See above statement. Surgeries carry risks. I know it well...I've had many surgeries myself and Lancelot has had one at only a week old. I know the risks. That's why I asked for prayer. But surgery is also helpful. Lancelot wouldn't be alive without the surgery he had at a week. Also, In our circle of family and friends I know of MANY cases where these surgeries were a HUGE benefit for the person who had them. In fact NOT having the surgery would have been seriously detrimental. To share one of many stories I could tell you...and without naming names or specifics to protect this persons privacy...we know of someone who was always a potential candidate for circumcision and never had it because of all the "risks" etc. At 14 he ended up in EMERGENCY SURGERY because his foreskin was literally strangling his penis! Yes, I'm not kidding here. He would actually pass out from an erection because blood supply was so severely cut off. Do you know how embarrassing that is for a teenager? Do you know how painful that is? Are you aware of the extreme ways a condition like that could effect a guy for life? Think about that the next time you decide to get all preachy on someone about a medical issue. Yeah, you may have a point in some circumstances, maybe even most, but you are NOT GOD and unless you are a medical professional familiar with that persons specific really have NO idea. Stop pretending that you do.


Cindi said...

I understand the choice you have. We chose to have our son circumcised. When it was done we were informed that he was one of the few who would've needed it done. His foreskin was too thick and and he would have ended up in the same situation as the boy that you know. Sometimes you have to do what needs to be done, regardless of what others say and think. I think you're a good mom for that! That being said, I hope the results come back so that you can avoid any type of surgery.

LeRoy said...

Hey Carissa, I was totally feeling what Tara mentioned to you too. You and Ernest are the only ones who know your situation best for your son and with what YOUR doctors are saying. Poor little guy having to go through all these tests, and possible surgeries. Thanks for keeping us posted on how it progresses.

Anonymous said...

Hey Carissa,
Here's some encouragement for you! We decided to have our son circumcised at birth and everything went super well. He's never had any issues. Hoping the same holds true for you...whether you need to have surgery the surgery done or not! Praying God's wisdom for you whenever you need it!

Karen Friesen (Mo)

Dwylla said...

Way to tell 'em! :) I was going to comment on your last blog entry, but then I saw all the random people and their comments and was like "What the deal!?" But anyway, my comment remains the same. We're praying for you. I wish I had some amazingly comforting words, but know that if I was there with you, I'd be singing, "Everything's gonna be alright. Rockabye." Don't know if you still like that song, but I remember you did in college, so I'm singing it for you, and lifting you up in prayer.

Steph said...

Amen Sister, well said!

Erika said...

Praying for you guys as you make decisions regarding your little man!

This Stupid Lamb said...

I do not have a son, in the future when I do I will choose not to circumcise him. However I believe it is every parents choice and you know what is best for your kids.

Anonymous said...

I know you don't know me, but I stumbled on your blog about the time you found out you were pregnant with Lancelot and I have been reading it and praying for you since.

I really do understand hating the advice despite that those giving it mean well (like you don't have access to the same internet articles). I really dislike people thinking that they can understand everything about the situation from a small amount of information. I also have found that doctors are not generally misinformed (yours sounds wonderful) and pushing the old ways because that is what they are comfortable with. They are really trying to advise you in what they think is best. I had to give up breastfeeding at 3 weeks, and I still think I made the best decision for my family, but I still get a lot of slack for it. So often I am still told I should have done this, that or the other thing, none of witch actually addressed the problem we were having (and that is nobody's business).

I thank you for having the guts to stand up and tell people how you feel about it.