I had decided to go on a diet. Ten pounds were about to be pummeled into submission and sent away with a fair well wave to my cellulite. I was going to be a No Sweet Nazi, a merciless major attacking my pudding ponch.
It's not working. Obviously along with my sanity I also lost my ability to resist temptation during my transistion into blissful motherhood. I'm like a two year old told I can't have that cookie...suddenly it's all I see. It's almost as if the word "No" made everything sweet into a magnet.
I've decided on a new diet plan. If I could only find a way to warp sweet moments into delicious desserts, then wrap them in pretty paper and sell them to every sucker trying to survive their dieting days...I'd be making millions. A high better than Hershey or Oh Henry. No calories but all the endorphins. And we all know "endorphins make us happy, and happy people don't just shoot their husbands....they just don't." (Something that sure looks tempting when you haven't tasted anything with flavour in four days and your favourite man is feasting on a fudgicle).
Alas, since I lost my brain when I pushed out the baby I don't have the genius required to invent something this incredible. BUT... were my ingenious idea an acutallity...here are some of the sweets I'd be savouring this weekend:
1) Sailing across the lake on the back of a sea doo, arms clining to my amore, sun sparkling on the water, waves rocking me to their own little lullabye, the wind whistling through my hair.
2) A treasure hunt date with my hunny. An hour long search for a gift with significance, given with the story of why we thought of the other while shopping for it.
3) Waking up to morning sun streaming through my window, my daughter snuggled between us, jabbering softly. Her little mouth covering me with kisses.
4) "uh oh!" and a twinkling toothless smile from my daughter as she drops her daddy's cell phone on the floor. Followed by an all out girly giggle.
I can feel the weight falling away already...