Have you ever had one of those moments where you just want to rip out your hair? Moments when you feel about ten feet past your wits end? I had one of those moments last night. Where all I was wishing for was a bubble bath, a good book, and an entire basket of chocolate. I wanted a few baby free hours, a few moments to myself.
And yet I didn't. I know this will make me sound more than a little crazy but hopefully some of you other moms will get me. While on the one hand I desperately desire an escape from being a full time mommy, on the other hand even that thought makes me insane with guilt. I love my daughter more than life itself and every moment I'm away from her is like ripping my heart right out of my chest. It's like this battle wages within me every time I even think about leaving my baby for even an hour!
The most horrible part about it is that my husband simply can NOT understand. Whenever I try to explain these feelings he feels I am attacking him and it leads dangerously close to a fight. He doesn't understand why I feel guilty for leaving my little girl to go out with the grown ups. He doesn't understand why I feel trapped after two days of talking to no one except a nine month old and occasionally him.
These are the downfalls of being a day in day out mom. But there are also moments that are so priceless, and despite the rainy days...I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just had to link this post by Cheeky Lotus because I think she sums up the struggles of a SAHM perfectly.
To all you SAHMS out there, stay strong!