Monday, June 25, 2007

"And I keep thinking of that night in June.."

Five years ago last Friday I took my first steps towards my future. Without much fear, and with great anticipation, I walked into a world I knew virtually nothing about. Thinking I knew it all, I knew almost nothing on this journey I had just begun. My plans and perfect calculations would be nothing more than distant memories in only a matter of months. But I didn't know this at the time.
"Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound"

Five years may not be a significant amount of time to most people but this particular marker has hit me hard. It was five years ago on June 22nd that I graduated from high school. A minor accomplishment really among the many things we do in a lifetime, but for me it was the beginning of beautiful journey. The reason five years is significant to me is that seven years ago a friend and I made a bet. I moved so much as a child that friendships seemed to flare and fade faster than falling stars. It was difficult and I was desperately hoping that somehow that might change. A friend of mine bet me $100 dollars that five years to the day after my high school graduation he would not only still remember me, but call me to say hello. I really didn't think he would.
On June 22nd I graduated from a different high school in a different town than this friend. In fall I started college several hours away and after breaking up with my boyfriend back home I cut ties with almost all high school connections. I think it was something I needed to do in order to find my own way to fly...but I desperately regret that in this process I also drifted from my BEST FRIEND.
"And both of us will be forever, you and me Forever and ever"
To lose the closest thing I had to a sister was and is still one of the saddest things I have done. But at the same time I was beginning an incredible journey. I am a planner. A plotter. I had everything laid out. Not a piece of the puzzle out of place. But then I broke up with my boyfriend and suddenly a whole new world of possibilities abounded. I could do anything. I could be anything.
"We would get so excited and we'd get so scared"
It was at college I met my handsome husband and began to believe in magic again. How could the man of my dreams actually exist? My knight in shining armor asked me out in acting class while we rehearsed what was supposed to be a trial script for a spring production (one he had actually written for the express purpose of asking my permission to be my boyfriend!) and five months later we were engaged!
"Then we could just be we. Forever you and me"
Marriage has been the most amazing journey I have ever embarked on. When I graduated from high school my plan was to be married this summer (at 22)...instead I have now been married for three and a half years. People asked me then if I thought I was to young. I always answered with a firm no. I still answer the same. I wouldn't have wanted to miss a minute of this.
After two and a half years of marriage, one plus one equaled one. (I never was a master mind at math but I do believe this equation makes more sense than any). I now watch in awe as my beautiful baby girl grows.
Five years ago I had it all planned. In five years I have accomplished almost NONE of those goals. I did not marry my high school boyfriend, I did not become a psychologist, I did not get married at 22.
But I accomplished all of my desires. I married the man of my dreams, I became a peer counsellor, I have a beautiful baby girl, I bought a house, I became a writer and a DJ, I learned to use my skills to help people.
My life is not the way I imagined it five years ago. It is five times better.
And this is what got me thinking along these lines...
1)Not much more than a month ago I was reunited with my best friend. I have never been more thankful for a friendship. She is my shining star.
2) This Saturday the friend I made a bet with in high school? He called me. His wife had just had lung surgery and they have been battling cancer for the past year...yet he still remember to call. One day late mind you...but who's counting? I guess I owe him a hundred dollars. I've never been happier to lose a bet.
So much has happened in the past five years. It feels like a whirlwind has wipped through my life. But I love it. I do hope the next five years won't be QUITE so eventful...but if they're as eventful in a good way then I certainly can't complain. So for all of you who were with me then, for all of you who are here now, thank you. Good luck...and good night...Oh...and,
"One thing you should know,
No matter where I go
We'll always be together
Forever and ever."

2 comments:

Stephanie Doerksen said...

Wow, it's amazing what can happen in 5 years! I can't believe that guy actually called you.
I really enjoyed reading your entry today, it was hopeful and inspiring. Thanks Carissa.
And just to let you know, I read all your entries, and I very much enjoy them!

Vicky said...

Wow! I think you are one of the most mature 22 year olds I have ever met (even though I haven't actually met you!) Good for you!