Monday, January 19, 2009

Bummed

I want to write but can't think of any way to make this more than just a complaining post. The past week and weekend were on the rough side with me wishing I had a husband for more than two hours a week, moaning about how this baby is making me pack on the pounds, battling the usual baby bump insomnia, feeling entirely wiped out while trying to maintain a home and get done mountains of tasks while being the sole caretaker of a two year old, losing my patience with potty training, catching a terrible cold, wanting to shoot grenades at the train that trumpets by on an increasingly regularly basis, telling myself not to be terrified when things mysteriously move around in our rental, missing my own house in my own yard with my big bedroom and beautiful kitchen, the list goes on.....
I'm trying to think of ways to make myself look on the bright side again for a bit but I feel a little worn down and a lot tired of trying to paint this all in a positive light. Not that it doesn't all HAVE the possibility to be positive. I am so proud of my husband for making it into this MBA program and for working towards his masters. I am happy that he has this opportunity to pursue his dreams. I am thrilled to be expecting another baby. I adore my daughter. But while all these things are great, they seem to require a mountain of sacrifices and sometimes I feel just utterly drenched by the downpour. I wish it were possible to pop open an umbrella that made the world around me full of sunshine and erased every bit of stress. Does anyone have any ideas to create that illusion even for a little while? And it can't include chocolate since stress eating is the last thing this baby needs. It's already turning me into a blimp in a way my first baby NEVER did. I wouldn't be surprised if I give birth to a baby blimp the way this baby craves food!

5 comments:

LeRoy & Faith said...

Grab a great book, and soak in the tub. And enjoy the peace and quiet, if that's possible.

Evan and Mel said...

I second what Faith suggested. Been a single parent far to many time s in the last 5 years, I totally hear ya girl.
Quick questions, how far along are you now?
How far along were you when you told people?

Don't feel bad about complaining, we all need to do it sometime or another.

Chelsa said...

i'm much bigger this time around too!

Stephanie said...

Oh, Carissa! I hope the "sun comes out tomorrow" and things start looking up soon.

The "season" of newborndom and toddlerhood is exhausting, but I am convinced that it's "short" and that we'll look back with fond memories of our sweet (and needy) little ones.

Stephanie

jodifur said...

it's ok to stop potty training. My almost 4 year old still has accidents!