Last night before falling into bed and far from fast asleep I read the following two verses which I found marked in my bible,
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19a
I felt again that this baby represented hope in our home and that God was here. Although it helped, it didn't erase the nerves which were going nuts inside me. After a fitful night the fear built and bubbled until as I sat in the waiting room this afternoon I felt as if I might burst right out of my skin.
Out past experiences have been far less than positive with the particular hospital we had to go to for the fetal assessment. However, despite it's dingyness, dirt, and generally dismal atmosphere it is the top hospital in the city and we had little choice. One of our prayers has been that this assessment would be nothing like our past experiences in this hospital. That somehow the staff would be sensitive and smart and we would not be left feeling alone,abused, and uninformed. After talking to a nurse through a jail like phone contraption while in admitting I wondered if even that wish would be unattainable.
Then we entered the fetal assessment unit and it was as if God opened the doors and said, "I am here". The counsellor who met with us prior to the assessment was a wonderful older woman who made us feel completely at peace and talked us through the entire procedure before it even began. She explained every possible problem that we could be experiencing and with her gentleness and knowledge put us much more at peace. Then we went into another room for the fetal assessment and met a lovely lady who greeted us with a friendly smile and made us feel entirely relaxed. Ernest and the counsellor pulled up arm chairs beside my bed and the counsellor and technician talked us through every inch of the procedure. And that was the best part.
They could not find a single reason why my levels were so high. Our baby appears to be one hundred percent healthy!
The assessment took around an hour and both the technician and a doctor carefully calculated and checked every inch of our baby before determining that they didn't feel we had any reason to fear. They don't know why my levels reported higher than normal but the baby appears to be completely formed, moving freely, functioning fully, and exactly as far a long as estimated. I think it's a Christmas miracle and a testament to God and the hope he gives. They will do another assessment in 5 weeks when the baby is bigger just to be sure they didn't miss anything but they told us they felt completely sure we could go home without worry.
Oh, and as a little extra surprise...we also found out what gender our baby is! We decided not to spoil the surprise for the rest of you but we were thrilled to find out! God is great!