Tuesday, December 21, 2010

It's a (Wonderful?) Life

It has been literally months since I have stepped inside this blogging box and attempted to describe to you the life we are leading. In fact, by this time I am probably talking to myself. But that's alright because I feel I should start putting my thoughts down on "paper" again, even if I am the only one who will read them. It's a way to organize the part inside my mind that sometimes feels overwhelmed trying to process all the thought patterns that scramble through on any given day....or minute. For the record, I did not intend to stop blogging but after our camping catastrophe this summer the stuff that fills our lives became so all consuming that every time I thought about blogging I couldn't even begin to see where I would start. Of course it didn't help that blogger erased my old lay out and I have found it impossible to find a new one for free that fits my desired design. Who wants to write on ugly paper? Silly I know but I'm shallow like that. If it weren't so difficult I'd pen my pent up emotions on beautiful frayed parchment with a fountain pen. But alas, this is the convenient, time efficient way to express emotions (doesn't that sound like a bit of an oxy moron?). It seems to me that after an absence of this extent I should supply some sort of update about our lives...however, a complete update would be almost as overwhelming to read as it was to live and would be way to lengthy to type. So instead I will take the easy way out and give you our last few months in sentences. And maybe I'll slip in a picture or two.

-Little Lady celebrated her fourth birthday Fancy Nancy style. Fancy Nancy is a book series for little girls that we discovered almost two years ago and Little Lady has been collecting everything Fancy Nancy ever since. In Fancy Nancy's world everything is elaborate, dramatic, and expressed with big words. We had makeovers, made tiara's, accessorized, had a fashion show, read a few Fancy Nancy stories, and finished it off with a fancy tea.
-We said "So Long" (What a strange phrase) to dear friends of ours as they moved to another province. This has been especially hard on Little Lady who misses their daughter terribly.

-Lancelot had his third surgery. It went well although the recovery has been a long long road.
-Our computer crashed and my laptop crashed, twice. I lost all of our photo albums...including all of Lancelot's birth to six month album which I create on the computer. The cost, time, and memories lost was a major blow.

-I celebrated another birthday and feel extremely old. I know, I know, 26 is not old...blah,blah, blah. It's hard to explain. Have you ever watched Jerry Maguire? At one point the female lead is having a conversation with her sister and her sister reminds her she needs to be responsible while going out for an evening. The female lead says, "Do you know how other girls my age are spending their time? They are finishing their degrees, they are dating, they are dressing up and going out all the time, (etc.). I am constantly thinking about how to pay the bills, what to do for my four year old, (etc.). (and here's the part that I really identify with..) I am the oldest 26 year old in the entire world!" When I was 18 and engaged I didn't think I was too young. When I was 21 and pregnant I didn't think I was too young. Now I am 26 with two kids, have been married almost 7 years, and have put my life, education, and career on hold 3 times in order to make my families life work. I have what everybody supposedly aims for....husband, 2 kids, owning two cars and home with a nice fenced yard...all I need is the dog (which will NOT happen) and I'd essentially have "The American Dream". Yet something in my head keeps screaming, "I am too young for this!"

-Prince Charming graduated with his Masters in Business.

- I went through three new doctors to finally find one I trusted enough to help me try and fix my increasingly debilitating health issues. I went through weekly/biweekly appointments and a new prescription that multiplied all my issues by about a thousand and made everything a million times worse.

-Prince Charming and I went on a much needed week long vacation. It was our first trip alone together since our honeymoon and the first time we had left both kids for more than a night. We got extremely lucky in that his company needed to send somebody to Hawaii for a one day job exactly the week we were hoping to get away and they sent him! This meant that our costs for our vacation were cut in half which was a huge relief and we also got to experience a dream of ours and go to Hawaii which is something that likely wouldn't have happened for years otherwise. The downside of this trip is that during this time I was still on the previously mentioned medication which made most of the trip so much more miserable then we would have liked. The upside is that we got to sleep, soak up sun, and surf and so we still managed to capture a few much needed magical moments.- We all got sick on a nice little sickness merry-go-round. Our household has not been fully healthy since Early/Mid-November.

-Lancelot was hospitalized with a very serious illness called Kawasaki's Disease. This was a nightmare. He will be monitored by cardiologists for 3 months. Hopefully all is clear in those months and the monitoring will not have to continue.

-During the sickness merry-go-round I have not been able to work much, we had to cancel many events, two weekend trips, and numerous other things got moved around or lost in the shuffle.

-We had numerous disappointments in my job with the drop-in.

-We've had numerous small financial set backs that added with everything else feel much worse than they actually are.

-My brother got engaged to this beautiful girl and I am finally getting a sister!-I finally found a specialist who could diagnose me. Currently I have been labeled with 5 different conditions. No that's not a typo. Five. We are still in the testing phases to determine some of the severity and the correct approach. I have been told I will never be "cured" but they hope I will eventually feel "healthy". I am currently on a very restricted diet and also have to make considerable lifestyle changes. This will not change regardless of test outcomes but some medications will likely be added as well.

Well, that's a summary of our lives since I last set foot here. To sum up...we are struggling. On the up side (because I feel that I need to end this post on some sort of up side), I recently enjoyed my annual review of "It's A Wonderful Life" and despite the discouragement in our lives I was reminded of one thing...there is always a reason we are here. We may not be sure of it's existence...but somewhere...somewhere behind the darkness there is hope.

P.S. Next time I'll give you an update on the kids because despite their ride on the sickness wheel they have a lot of exciting things to share!


Kendra said...

Nope, you're not talking to yourself! I have your blog on my Google Reader, so I always know the second you post something new! Glad to have an update on how you guys have been doing.And I'm really hoping that health stuff turns around for you guys soon!

Chelsa said...

glad you posted again :)
sorry for all the sickness though. can't wait to read more updates!