Saturday, January 30, 2010

My heart is bubbling over with Joy Joy Joy

I know I am one of the luckiest woman alive. I have a good husband, a nice home, and two beautiful, healthy, kids. But I have a confession to make. There are days when I envy my single friends. My mind wanders to where I'd be if I hadn't gotten married at 19, if I hadn't had a kid at 21. Jealousy leaves my nerves jangled and my emotions a mess. What would it be like to have been able to pursue my own career, continue my education, experience my 20's the way the rest of the world does, take time to travel? What if instead of running a home so that my husband could have his dreams I was developing my own? Not that having a husband and kids hasn't been part of my dreams. It's just that I sometimes see everyone else my age pursuing their passions, going out whenever they want, working in exciting careers, and I want to be one of them.

But then, just before the blues really bring me down my kids shower me in brilliant sunlight. Lancelot brings his pudgy little hands together with a glee filled grin and claps with great gusto. "Joy Joy Joy" sings his sweet sister and he cheerily claps along with her song, a new trick he has just discovered. Little Lady smiles and after smothering us in kisses asks if I am ready for our mommy daughter date. She is so delighted about the prospects of our day it is the same question she has asked me from the moment she first woke up. See their joy? Watch how they want to be with me even when I am day dreaming of another life. I bask in their love. I am lucky. I am blessed.

My heart is bubbling over with Joy, Joy, Joy.

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